I've been working with women for over 10 years as both an esthetician and a coach. Spending a lot of time talking, about life. It wasn’t long before I noticed a very common theme. It really didn’t matter if I was talking to someone younger college age, or a women closer to my age (at that time I was in my 40’s), or just a bit older. Here is what I heard, repeatedly;
"I feel like something is missing.”
“There must be something more."
"I just want to be happy."
"I want to make a difference."
Same desire, different women, day after day, week after week. All. The. Time. It was heartfelt and so very common. I identified with these women, because we were all singing the same song. Everything I was hearing was exactly what I’d been yearning for myself. To be sure, the time I spent in the treatment room of the day spa, working with women is what let me to becoming a coach. But it was this message, this desire, which led me to dive deep into Spiritual Psychology and Soul Centered Living. I wanted my work to have meaning, and to make a difference. Little did I know that my quest for knowledge would lead me back to my very beginning, would lead me home. Everything I was searching for was literally inside of me all along. I wish I could have pointed these women inward then, to help them see that everything they desired they already possessed.
It is our innate nature to be joyful but life can be hard, and messy and we are not always taught to seek joy as we are growing up.
More often than not, as adults, we must re-teach ourselves, or better yet, erase the messages that have been programed into us since childhood. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we've all had "bad" childhoods or parents, that's not it at all.
Very well meaning parents and role models unknowingly taught us right out of our innate wellbeing and joy. Not consciously of course, but because their parents did it, and their parents before and society as a whole has just continued to support and teach certain beliefs. Beliefs that are not very conducive to joy.
Here are some examples;
If you are a confident child you are taught to be humble, not to toot your own horn or brag about yourself.
If you think you are pretty, or attractive, better not let anyone know or you risk be perceived as conceited or stuck up.
If you laugh to loud, or got really excited you were more than likely told to shhh, quiet down, be respectful.
In her book, Goddesses Never Age, Dr. Christiane Northrup explains it like this;
"We've been taught that anything pleasurable is suspect. We say "It's a guilty pleasure," "It's sinfully delicious," or "We're having too much fun." Someone is "drop-dead gorgeous," or we're going to "die laughing." These sayings are based in the idea that we can't handle the fullness of someone's beauty or our own laughter. The thought of simply enjoying ourselves, savoring sensual experience, makes us look over our shoulders for the pleasure police."
Very well meaning adults simply taught us not to have too much fun, to be fearful and to watch our step.
How many babies and toddlers do you know that struggle with joy? With trying new things, feeling confident, sharing their accomplishments and grinning with pride? At what point do we stop cheering them on and begin teaching them to downplay their accomplishments lest they be seen as boastful?
As women, we need to reclaim our joy. Not just women, men deserve joy too. And children, while I’m at it.
We all need to go within, to heal without. Think back to when you were a child. Were you encouraged to be yourself, to let your light shine? Was there laughter in your home, play, fun and lots of love? Because that is exactly what is inside. Laughter, play, fun and love. And energy and light. And if you really want to find your joy you need to go back and rediscover these innate qualities. The ones you were born with, that used to come naturally, that you were "taught" out of.
So, how in the world do I do that? Well, it’s simple actually. Almost too simple. And interestingly, much too complex to actually teach or share in a blog.
Which is exactly why I created The Radical Joy Seeking Women’s Club. It’s designed to be a Journey to Joy. To Self. To help you with resources and tools to lead you back to YOU.
I set out to create what I longed to find.
Then I put it all together and built it for you, and for me…for us.
I was blessed to connect with and co-create with two beautiful, smart, talented and heart centered women. I’ve been overjoyed at the response from authors and teachers from around the globe willing to support and contribute to the Club by way of articles, interviews, books, videos.
And here, each week, we will be bringing them to you.
Curious? Then you have two options, join the Club now, or keep coming back to the site and checking in here. Inside the blog we will all be sharing insights and information on teachings and trainings within the Club. When the time is right for you we invite you to join us then.
To be notified of our Launch, when we are open to new members, simply visit www.radicaljoyseekingwomen.com if you are viewing this blog on the site already, then complete the coming soon form, relax, read and enjoy what we have created for you.
“You see, where we’re searching for is our home grounds – we’re searching to find the way home. And to find the way home, what you have to do is look at everything in reverse. Because naturally, if you’re away from home, if you keep walking, you walk further away. To find home you’ve got to turn round, and instead of searching outside for the answer you seek, all you do is look inside…and there lie the secrets that you want.” Syd Banks
Quote taken from Michael Neill’s new, soon to be released book “The Space Within”
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